


Biofics

by Transposable_Element



Category: Anthropomorfic
Genre: Biobabble, Biology, DNA, Innuendo, Molecular biology, Silly, cells, immunology
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-15
Updated: 2015-02-15
Packaged: 2018-03-12 23:39:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3359579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Transposable_Element/pseuds/Transposable_Element
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Short anthropomorfics on biological themes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Bounced

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A strand of DNA tries to get into a nightclub...

The bouncer at the Peptide Lounge had its hands full. So far that evening it had kicked out three mutant mitochondria awash in reactive oxygen species, an impeccably spliced but notorious transposase, and the usual assortment of viruses, constructs, and siRNAs. Luckily the bouncer was an experienced transport protein.

So when a strand of naked DNA walked up, the bouncer just sighed. “Sorry, pal, no genes,” it said. With all the transcription machinery and ribosomes inside, only an idiot would let in a piece of DNA without even any histones to protect it.

The DNA strand didn’t seem to be deterred. “Hey, I’m a non-coding region,” it said. “No genes on me, dude.”

The bouncer peered at it. “Nice try, but your reading frame is open,” it said. Of course the bouncer didn’t have the analytics to detect that kind of thing at a glance, but the strand appeared to fall for the bluff. It glanced down at itself as if to check, then realized its mistake and tried to backpedal. “So what? I don’t transcribe, dude,” it said weakly.

“That’s what they all say,” said the bouncer drily. 

“What are you going to do, BLAST me?” the DNA sneered.

The bouncer shrugged. “If I have to. Don’t make me call NCBI,” it said.

The DNA drew back nervously. “Look,” it said in a wheedling tone, “I’m sure we can work this out. How about if I bring along a friend of mine who’s a negative regulator? No RNA polymerase will come near me...”

But the bouncer was out of patience. “Ah, get out of here before I kick your promoter right in the TATA box,” it said. The DNA immediately assumed a defensive posture. _That always gets ‘em_ , thought the bouncer.

“Maybe I’ll try the Poly-A Club, down the street,” the DNA said, as it backed away.

The bouncer nodded, but it laughed to itself. No way was a piece of DNA with that many non-standard bases going to get into an exclusive place like the Poly-A Club!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I realize I've taken liberties with scale.


	2. Personal Ad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Found on eImmunology.com

Mature yet naïve B cell seeks antigen. Protein or glycoprotein preferred; multiple epitopes a plus. No self antigens! Must be open to a threesome with a T helper cell. I'm eager to try proliferation, antibody secretion, and even somatic hypermutation! Are you ready to help me realize my full potential? Send electron microscopy and/or bioinformatic analysis to imahotbcell@yahoo.com.


	3. Meant for each other

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [](http://avanti-90.dreamwidth.org/profile)[**avanti_90**](http://avanti-90.dreamwidth.org/) who is also [avanti_90](http://archiveofourown.org/users/avanti_90/pseuds/avanti_90) in response to the prompt [Anthropomorfic, DNA strand/complementary DNA strand.](http://rthstewart.dreamwidth.org/119267.html?thread=4109795#cmt4109795)

The attraction was irresistible: from the moment we met, all I could think of was how much I wanted to base pair. Sure, I tried to play it cool—I didn’t want to come off like some silly RNA primer, after all—but the pull of all those incipient hydrogen bonds was just too strong. Soon we were antiparallel, and with all that GC content I knew our Tm would be so high that nothing would keep us apart for long….


End file.
